
Who are you, the guy that makes the donuts? Sour Bill, de-taffy-fy this monster so we can see what we're up against here! It's just, I gotta say, it becomes kinda hard to love your job when no one seems to like you for doing it. Centipede? Who knows where that guy is, you know? Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at, I'm very lucky. Think about those guys at Asteroids? Boom, gone. For thirty years I have been doing this, and I have seen a lot of other games come and go. But, are there medals for wrecking stuff really well? To that, I say, ha! And no, there aren't. When Felix does a good job, he gets a medal. But, uh, if you got a magic hammer from your father, how hard can it be? If he was a regular contractor, carpenter guy, I guarantee you, you will not be able to fix the damage that I do as quickly. So yeah, naturally, the guy with the name Fix-It Felix is the good guy.

My passion level's very near the surface, I guess, not gonna lie. Uh, let's see.I'm 9 feet tall, I weigh 643 pounds, got a bit of a temper on me.
